The Cheese Sandwich and the End of the World, Part Two


-Missed it? Read part one here.

A knock on the door almost startled the captain into dropping his sandwich.

“Captain, you’re needed on deck. The Admiral requests your presence.”

The captain grumbled into his beard, but put the sandwich back on the plate and into the cooling drawer of his desk. His delicious cheese sandwich would have to wait.

On the bridge, the Admiral’s hologram glowed bright green.

“You’re late,” she said, “and you look terrible. Tuck in your shirt.”

The captain blushed so hard his ears turned blue as he tucked in the corner of his shirt with his third-left hand. It had come untucked in his mad rush up the stairs to reach the bridge. He wished with all his three hearts that the teleporter was working. Splat that technician and his temperamental goat! The captain forced a smile.

“How are you, mother? You look well.”

“No time for niceties, there is work to be done. I need that filthy little planet out of my way.”

“What planet might you be referring to, mother dear?”

“Stop driveling. Remove planet X-358-932 so I can have my designers build my nice, clean planet in its place. Bobo will adore it; it will be the perfect vacation home for us when we visit the Milky Way.”

Upon hearing her name, Bobo jumped into view on the hologram. It was more of a hop, as she was the most massive purdle Tentorp had ever seen. Her scales were purplish, covering her entire body tip to tail, and her teeth were set with tiny emeralds, giving her smile an eerie glow. She growled and snapped at the captain. He took a respectful step back despite the fact that nobody ever had their head bitten off by a hologram before. Still, one could never be too careful when it came to giant purdles.

“Now Admiral, I-“the captain started to protest.

“Just blow it up and stop fromping around!”

The hologram cut out abruptly. The captain sat with a heavy thud in the nearest chair, mopping sweat off his brow with his first-right hand and ignoring the squealing of the crew member he was sitting on. His stomach burbled.

On a normal day, the captain would have given less than a teenth of a second thought to blowing up a planet, occupied or not. He loved to watch things explode. But that planet, X-358-932, or Earth, was home to some of the finest cheese-makers in the universe. Cheese. Sandwich! He stood up and bolted towards the stairs, licking his lips and rubbing all three pairs of his hands together in anticipation. The Earth problem could wait.

As soon as the captain had left the bridge, the crew member he sat on was rushed to the infirmary. The man who took his place was named Frip, and a nicer Yamagorn you will never meet. He was tall for his species, and overly orange, with bright yellow eyes and a longish tail that he kept curled up in his chair for fear someone would step on it. His job was to press the button that fired the giant laser when the captain wanted to blow something up. Frip’s predecessor had pressed that button no less than 1,597 times in the last two weeks, giving him a great sense of job security and several sore fingers.

Back in his cabin, the captain shut the door and sat at his desk. He pulled the sandwich out of the cooling drawer and smiled with all of his 49 teeth.

He opened his mouth wide.

He brought the sandwich to his lips.

Someone began beating on his door.

“Captain, you’re needed on deck! Pirates!”

The captain growled, his gray-brown skin flushing an angry rose-jam red. Shoving his sandwich back into the drawer, he stormed to the door and flung it open so hard, decks C-1 through F-3 thought the ship had hit a small asteroid.
The captain pushed past the shaking messenger, down the hall, and up the stairs. All colors of lights were flashing and three or four different alarms were beeping and trilling on the deck.  The captain paced as the crew began yelling information.

“Sir, the Medilarian pirates are hot on our wake and closing!”

“All weapon systems operational, sir!”

“Three ships pursuing armed with three hundred seventy-two guns total, sir!”

The captain sat on his own chair this time and stared at the map flickering on the table in front of him. Three red squares chasing a green circle. Outmanned and out gunned, there was only one thing to do.



4 thoughts on “The Cheese Sandwich and the End of the World, Part Two

  1. Wow! Great Sci-fi. I do fiction, too, just not sci-fi. Read my blog at! Especially read the Land Of Dead and Zombie Street.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The Cheese Sandwich and the End of the World, Part Three | Kalico With A "K"

  3. Pingback: The Cheese Sandwich and the End of the World, Part Four | Kalico With A "K"

  4. Pingback: The Cheese Sandwich and the End of the World, Part Five | Kalico With A "K"

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